i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize