I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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