Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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