You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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