how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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