i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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