Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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