Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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