fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize