We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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