i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
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My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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