It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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