The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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