just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize