My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize