Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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