No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize