If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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