That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
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she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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