i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
a search helicopter?!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize