dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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