Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i out mim tonsoeep
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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