I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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