i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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