Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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