I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
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remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
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The struggles of a small town man whore
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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