i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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