Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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