the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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