I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize