i wish starbucks made bloody marys
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
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Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
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I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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