Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
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I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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