I am spending my child support on dildos
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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