New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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