By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize