I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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