I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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