So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
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She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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