my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
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