My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize