Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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