I'd wear matching sweaters with you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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