Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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