i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize