bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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