I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize