Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize