he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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