Apparently you make a good broom.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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