Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize