My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize